written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain
by S.J Carter
Summary: A crystal queen, a demonic dragon, and light years away from a fairytale ending.―-HansElsa (throughout the years)


_Le notes:_ This is slightly AU, I got this idea when I saw some fanart of Hans and Elsa as children. So this fic does contain quite a few flashbacks and altered/additional scenes from the film. Hope you enjoy!

_Summary:_ A crystal queen, a demonic dragon, and light years away from a fairytale ending.―-HansElsa (throughout the years)

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**written in these walls are the stories that i can't explain**

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although i am broken  
my heart is untamed, still

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Here are the tales her mother spins for her as a child: there are always two sides to a story, the good and the bad. Good always prevails because the princesses and princes are angels, made of light and salvation. While bad never wins since demons and dragons are created from fire and darkness. And mama calls them monsters. And papa says that they hide under the bed. But Elsa doesn't need to worry because one day, she will meet her prince. He will slay the beast and light up the starless skies with his sword. He will burn her fears in to ashes; send them off in to a faraway land. He will sweep her off her feet and carry her to his castle.

Except, mama forgot the best part of the story. Where the princess and the monster are one. And princes aren't real, because the princes here are mad with power. Good never wins, since good is disguised as evil. Bad, of course, does nothing but set the world on fire.

The flames take her down in to the abyss, right in to his personal hell hole. Where his wicked laugh rings loudly in her ear. Where he uncovers her true identity; a monster almost as terrifying as himself.

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She carries with her, the image of the crisp full-moons and howling wolves, basking under the starlight. She is the promise of strength and persistence, of forever and always. She is the burning block of ice which never melts, no matter how hot the flames. However, he is far too immersed in his thoughts of vengeance and because of that, he can no longer see the pain within her bright blue eyes.

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_The first snowfall occurs when he is ten. _

It's startling. The Southern Isles never received snow before. The weather was barely ever cold enough; the thought never struck his mind. Even as a young boy, Hans wasn't much for believing in miracles. He wasn't a dreamer; every time he closed his eyelids, all he saw was a pitch black wall before him. His brothers are different. Specially the eldest one, Abraham, who spent nights with eyes wide open and questioned his father about leadership and fidelity. You see, the king of the Southern Isles is quite a special man.

He is gifted with the power to see the future. A clairvoyant, some may say, and a very accurate one at best.

Your destiny is great, your destiny is grand, the king told his eldest boy (while thirteen others waited eagerly in line). By the time their father gets to Hans, everyone's attention is suddenly diverted elsewhere. "Father! _Father_! Look!" His other brother, Matthew (only a year older than Hans), jumps up and down in great delight. "It's snowing father!"

The king smiles from ear to ear at the pile of snow in Matthew's hand.

And then ―_Father wait, what about my future? What does my future hold?_

"Later Hans! Later! Can't you see that there is snow in the Southern Isles?"

(Matthew catches the king's hand in his and Hans looks onwards, enviously. This isn't the first time either. He remembers the fragile age of five, and a small sketch of his mother in his hands. _Mother look, mother look at what I drew! _But the queen only says this: "Hans, I don't have time for this. Matthew just threw up all over the carpet, and Abraham won't stop coloring on the walls. Benjamin keeps tearing his trousers and Felix is playing in my dresser.")

Of course, that _later_ father spoke of never arrives. It's no surprise, Hans figures. Not really.

(Suddenly, he realizes how much he hates the snow, and everything it ever brought upon him. He hates the cold and its icy blue memories. And he hates snowflakes; the way they gracefully fall from the sky, dance with the wind, and melt on her tongue. He hates her; the wild and untamed hairs on her head, the cerulean blue of her eyes, and the paleness of her skin. He finds that 'snow' becomes synonymous with 'hatred' and hatred, synonymous with the sound of her laughter).

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_She first sees him when she is only nine years of age._

Their family vacation takes place in the neighboring kingdom of the Southern Isles. While Anna is quite mischievous in her request, mother and father attend a theatre show, and the rest can't be helped. Let's make a snowman, Anna whispers in to Elsa's ear. As always, she smiles innocently as her fingers make swirls and patterns around the sky. Though she didn't expect to make so much snow, she guesses that the amount never hurt anyone because all the children of the land laugh and play until their ribs get tired.

Anna makes friends easily, Elsa notes. Everyone really loves her enthusiasm and the way she humours them with girlish laughter and comedic antics. Even as a child, Elsa never was too comfortable around people. She thinks it's something her sister has which may be more special than having these icy powers. Anna has the power to love and better, to be loved in return.

Elsa, guiltily, wonders what it's like to be her sister.

"C'mon Matthew, leave her alone."

"But she threw a snowball at my head!"

"Stop pushing her!"

Hans pushes his older brother in to the snow while Anna thanks him softly. He smiles towards her, childishly of course. Elsa runs towards them, she watches her sister's cheeks grow bright red at the sight of Hans's visage. Almost immediately, he blushes back. And suddenly she realizes that this is the beginning of the fairytale stories her mother read to her as a child. It's the whole _princess meets prince_ and _love at first sight_ type of scenario which has her thinking that all they're missing is an evil queen.

And perhaps, Elsa is―

"Elsa! Do you want to meet my new friend?" Anna looks to her sister, and then towards Hans. She feels satisfied when Elsa first sets her eyes on him and thinks that maybe, _just maybe_, things could play out differently. "Well, you too have fun."

Before they know it, Anna's gone. It's just the two of them and it's damn strange. With two socially awkward children, forced in to friendship, it isn't really the ideal start towards happily ever after.

"You did this, didn't you?" He begins, in a rough tone.

"What?" Elsa snaps, confused.

"You made it snow." Hans says, with a bit of bitterness in his voice. It's odd, Elsa figures; she thought that all children loved the snow.

"How do you know that?" She questions, foolishly.

Hans takes a step closer towards her. "I know because I have powers too."

"You do?" He nods his head proudly at her question. "What kind?"

He rolls his eyes. He always hated girls like _her_; untamed, curious, and insane, nothing delicate or fragile. She was a burning ball of fire since the beginning, and he was always able to see right through her. A queen, through and through, nothing like the princess her sister was. There was something about Elsa; the way she held her head up high and walked with such confidence.

Something high and mighty and powerful and enviable at best.

(he catches her looking at him and thinks that she reminds him of the earthshattering sound of moonwater hitting against silk smooth skin)

"I have the power to see people for who they really are."

(the moonwater starts to pierce through his flesh, and his true colors only slightly begin to show).

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_The second time they meet is not as grand._

She barely even recognizes him and truth be told, he's a little hurt by it all. He thought that he had at least made a lasting impression on her. With the way her eyes widened at every little word that slipped between his lips, he presumed that she might've cracked. He might have burned her, just a bit. He had no idea how thick her skin truly was. She was unburnable, at most.

(of course, she never forgot because she was the one who bruised him, not the other way around).

"Queen Elsa," he says, in a prince-like tone and prince-like clothes. But his eyes glint like the devil's. "May I have this dance?"

She doesn't know why, but she accepts humbly. She figured it was just some ploy to get her to be more agreeable towards Anna's request. Elsa sees right through him, from the start. His hand wraps around hers while the other slips around her waist. His smile is royal, smug at best. And his touch leaves her wanting more (it's completely unintentional, of course).

"This doesn't change a thing," Elsa warns, as he twirls her around.

His doe-eyed face is feigned with innocence. "Whatever are you talking about?"

He dips her down gently; her perfectly pinned hairs almost touch the floor. This perfection is so unlike her, he thinks. She used to be this wild, flammable thing. He wonders when she became the girl he never thought she could be. A delicate and fragile flower, losing her bright red flame.

"I am not going to let you wed my sister. It's a preposterous idea, really. I can't believe you even agreed to it." (ah, there's the sign of the girl on fire)

"Do I hear a hint of jealousy, Queen Elsa?"

"Jealousy?" She question, totally and utterly shocked. He smirks, defiantly. "Over you?" She laughs at the thought of it all. The image of children playing in snow cross her mind. It's a happens stance, a moment of weakness. And then suddenly, it's all gone. "Don't be silly Hans; I don't have time to dilly dally about such trivial things. Romance simply isn't in the cards for someone like me."

Another twirl, she swings back in to his arms and the music intensifies. "Someone like you?" He repeats, curiously.

"Well, you know," one last dip of her head and she meets Anna's eyes from across the room. "Someone so_ cold_."

She misses the hint of pity he offers her, the wild color of seaglass passing through his veins. He wonders if she's doing this on purpose.

(_"I have the power to see people for who they really are."_)

He figures that she's not.

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_The third time is sad and desperate; like a love song gone wrong._

Don't be the monster they fear you are, he tells her, brimming with intelligence and honesty. Cruel, brutal, and definite honesty which weakens her to the point of almost fainting. He holds his hand out, as if to take her in and wipe away all her sadness. Years upon years of fears and regrets, she thinks it's not romantic at all, not really. Not when she's the monster from the books and he's definitely no hero.

And yet, when she loses all consciousness underneath the weight of an iced chandelier, he's the one who decides to look after her. He never meant to hurt her, physically or mentally. But hatred and vengeance overcome him. Instead, he takes her senseless body in to his arms and carries her back to her kingdom. He locks her in to a room with his feelings for her, still intact.

In the end, nothing goes according to plan, nothing at all. Because love interferes, and love ruins the both of them until neither of them are able to redeem themselves.

(The cellar is cold. Possibly, colder than her.

"The stories they tell you when you're young," he begins, watching her wake from a light sleep. "They're not true. There's no such thing as dragons. And even if there is, there's no way a tiny prince will stand a chance against it.

"What in the world are you on about it?" She grumpily questions, trying to break free from the shackles.

"Don't pretend like you don't understand!" He shouts in anger.

"I'm not pretending Hans!"

"Yes you are!" This time, he holds her and he's far from gentle. He is pulling her by the bends of her wrists, so close that she is breathing him in, overwhelmed by memories and the feeling of hatred. He over powers her with his nostalgic words. "Since when were you this girl?"

Her eyes widen with confusion. "What do you mean?"

The memory of her childish pride clings to his mind. "Right now, you act like you need protecting, like you need saving―"

"But I do need all those things, haven't you heard Hans? I'm a monster." This time, she sounds like some cynic; some woman turned mad because of the effects of loneliness and solidarity.

"Don't you see that sometimes…sometimes…there are no princes or princesses or monsters or dragons? But there are queens, and empires, and castles, and kingdoms of people who look up to her. Who know that deep down inside, she doesn't need saving."

She turns her head, blue irises glowing at him with pure anger. "And what do you know of queens and kingdoms?" This is her sign of mistrust, he presumes. The fact that her entire kingdom deemed their own queen a monster and betrayed her and broke her faith. So the fallen queen he sees before him is not to blame.

"Not as much as you do, I'm sure," Hans finally responds, in a sad tone. "No," he realizes, watching a small tear escape her left eye. "I know nothing at all.")

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_The last time they meet is their happily never after._

Everything goes wrong, absolutely everything. The stories, she knew they were unpredictable at times but, never had she pictured a hero turned villain and princess frozen in ice. Afterwards, she becomes the heroine of her own story and saves the princess. Of course, she still spends her nights, locked in her room, crying herself to sleep at the awful memories. Which left a horrible taste in her mouth and an unforgettable face stamped in to her mind.

Sometimes, she wishes she could forget every single horrible thing he's ever done. Since, he's probably forgiven her for becoming a monster, she's sure he has.

He was never the type to hold a grudge. After all, he got over his hatred for snow (her) quite easily.

"What are you doing here?" For the longest time, she thought she was alone. That she ran towards the woods because there was no one there to judge her for her wrong doings. But, she was wrong. She was so god damn wrong because queens are never alone.

Especially ones who have yet to face their deepest and darkest demons.

"Haven't you learned your lesson yet, your majesty?" He lurks out of the shadows, covered in dirtied clothes. "Running never solved anything."

She rolls her eyes; her moment of shock is gone. She's back to being composed and queen-ly because she wants to become stronger. "Says the fugitive." She scoffs as he actually chuckles. "I could report you, you know? It'd be easy to get you behind bars again. Really easy."

He sighs, crossing his arms around his chest. "_Easy_ has never been your style, Queen Elsa."

She learns against a tree, completely exasperated. "Don't speak of me as if you know me. You don't."

"That's where you're wrong," he smugly says, "I do know you, very well in fact. Possibly, better than you even know yourself."

"That's a bunch of hogwash!"

He laughs, a little too loudly. "I knew you wouldn't believe me."

She wonders if he's trying to prove a point. Even if he was a runaway, he didn't seem like he was afraid of getting caught. It's as if, he would only laugh at the guards who took him away. If anything, he would try to escape, every single damn time.

"Remember when you told me that 'love' wasn't in the cards for someone like you?" He randomly brings up.

She supposes that it's just his way of filling the silence. Or he just enjoys making her feel extremely uncomfortable. "Yes," she answers, cautiously. "What about it?"

There's a moment where he thinks that _maybe she's_― but then, he reverts back to being all smug and arrogant. "Nothing," he replies, uselessly. "I just wanted to make sure you remembered."

Elsa releases another scoff. "You're…impossible." She settles for.

He realizes that she was obviously still blind towards his intentions. And so, he gathers his things and starts to walk on wards.

"Where are you going?" She asks, curiously.

It brings him back to some long-forgotten childhood memory (of a yet to be crystal queen and a demonic dragon). "I'm a fugitive remember? No rest for the wicked, I'm afraid."

Elsa doesn't think he means much by his next words.

"This will probably be the last time that you'll see me." He feels the need to mention this. Actually, more importantly, he feels compelled to hear her reply. Anxious, even.

"Good." She simply says, heartlessly.

He takes a moment to take one last good look at her in all her glory. This will probably be the last time he gets to see her, as well. Moreover, this is how he wants to remember _her_: the crystal queen. All wild and careless blonde curls, and immense cerulean blue orbs which take over most of her face. The enraged look in her eyes and the moonlight shinning down on her skin.

"You should go back soon, your kingdom needs you." He offers as a last bit of advice.

"And yours doesn't?"

Her question surprises him, quite the bit. "Actually, I hardly think that they'll notice that I'm gone. After all, I have always been invisible, with thirteen siblings and all."

Elsa finds that she couldn't relate to that.

"Well, I'm off then. Farewell, your majesty."

She doesn't answer him and simply watches him go, facing the last of her demons with a frown on her face and a trembling heart. This is not how she imagined her triumph. She hadn't wanted to be weak at all.

This hardly felt like victory, mostly because victory is not supposed to feel so bitter.

(That night, she returns to her kingdom feeling even more alone, even more desperate, with his face still stamped in to her mind).

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**End**

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_Le more notes: _Wahhhh, why do I suck so much at endings? I need to take a class or something about how to end stories. Because I'm never satisfied with my endings. Oh well, leave me a review telling what you think, I'd love to hear from you! Also, I have another HansElsa one shot on my page so make sure to check that out! And follow me on tumblr (link of my page).

―**_Xoxo Carter_**


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